Y'know, I'm all about empowering women. I get a kick out of joking about serious things and making light of things that scare me. But I have run out of laughs about this one, and I really don't feel very empowered.
I think I'm in menopause. I say "think" because I don't know for sure. I had a partial hysterectomy last August - partial meaning that I kept my ovaries, so I should've been okay for a little while. And like I said, I don't know for sure because I went for blood tests nearly two weeks ago and somehow the estrogen test hasn't come back yet. All the other hormone tests came back okay, but the estrogen is anybody's guess. So I haven't gotten an official diagnosis yet.
All I know is, I haven't felt like myself since I woke up from the surgery. The list of symptoms is a mile long and a lot of it's rather personal, so I won't go into it here. But it seems to affect totally random things like my mental accuity, skin and my ability to be around other human beings for longer than 5 minutes without wanting to scream. It may not be menopause, but if it isn't, then the alternative is insanity.
It's very hard to look ahead of this and see what I have to look forward to after menopause setting in at 38. Mostly I just feel like I'm way too young and really not ready to go through this just yet. And as always, I'm the first of most of my friends to go through this, so nobody can give me much advice on this one.
So if I am testy for the next little while, forgive me. This is all new, frightening territory for me.
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